Swede Stuck in a Hawaiian Body

The title of this post is only half true; I'm not Hawaiian, I'm actually German, but sort of American, but I technically live in Hawaii and yet deep down inside I know that I'm Swedish. I have to be. Why else would I be here in this lovely country for the fourth time?

I've been here for over a week now, and this time I think I'm staying. I am surprised at myself for even considering another winter, after my reaction to my time in Germany, but I think that things will be different here. I plan to start learning the language at a school called "Swedish for Immigrants," (Oh, I'm one of those again...my whole life seems like a process of immigration) and once I've managed to master the language I am considering vocational programs in Biodynamic Agriculture, as well as University studies. What really amazes me is that I'm not freaking out about the future like I did when I was studying medicine.  Everything just seems so smooth and calm and okay. It just feels right, and I think I've learned to go with my gut feeling. The future will bring something and for some strange reason I'm meant to be in this country. I don't really understand it...

For the first time I'm here and not wwoofing at Rosenhill. It feels great to know that I love Sweden, even outside of that little farm. It is actually quite liberating to be away from it, visit it when I want, and have my own experiences here, unrelated to wwoofing. I've been hiking quite a bit, visiting with friends, helping out with the garden of the friend I'm staying with (lots of yard work, trimming trees and bushes and bringing them to the amazing recycling lot), and enjoying all the wonderful yogurt and fil (a kefir-like drink that is made with special cultures...)

Usually when people ask me when I started to be interested in Sweden, I answer that it was in 7th grade geography class that I felt—knew— I had to visit thi country. But now that I think about it, Scandinavian culture has somehow been embedded in my life for a very long time. I loved the block about Norse Mythology in 4th grade. I read lots of Swedish books (translated into German) as a child, about trolls and beavers and Elks and whatnot, without ever knowing that they were Swedish. Somehow I've been listening to ABBA since I was a child, and my favorite song as a kid was "Lovefool" by the Cardigans. When I was 5 or 6 I religiously ate sill (pickled herring) with my father—definitely not typical behavior for a 5-year-old. I really, really, really love beets, and they are a staple vegetable here. Lots of little things that just add up to my hoorah for this country. And for a very long time my biggest dream was to celebrate a Swedish Midsommar... and last weekend I did just that.

My friends and I planned and shopped and cooked up a feast, made wreathes from wild flowers that we'd collected, wore our summeriest dresses, ate, drank, sang, and then danced around the maypole "midsommarstång" to traditional tunes. It was perfect.

Now I just wonder how long I'll be staying here.... hopefully for a while :) nothing but smiles.