Thieves Beware!

Beet thinning may be tragic, but doesn't come anywhere close to the tragedy of fruit theft. Now, I may have stolen some mangoes back in May, but they were off an old man's tree and he was letting them all fall to rot. But the three charming cherry tomatoes that were growing in my garden have disappeared! Two of them were ripe on Thursday and disappeared clean off the vine. And yesterday the third disappeared (it was still showing a shade of orange.) Come ON! Who goes into a garden and steals three cherry tomatoes? I mean, if I had a bounty of nightshades then sure, have at it! Steal all the fruit you want! Take away some of my basil and rosemary while you're at it. But please, my plant is an infant! For god's sake. I have gone through so much bullshit to get that plant to survive. This is the tomato plant that I keep referring to in other posts. My dad killed it—nearly—and I just managed to propagate what had snapped off. It was a miracle that it didn't just whither like so many tomato plants in Hawaii do. It's a serious trooper plant.  How dare you sneaks come and steal my three little fruits!....assholes.

I encountered another tragic, thievery-related event this morning while getting the mail. My dad and his father don't have the best communication, so it's a rare treat to get any mail from "Pop." Pop had sent my dad a slim, short envelope (one that might contain a check) and it had been ripped open along the side and the top—definitely ripped by human hands—and in it was a note-pad paper folded in half that said, "I thought you might enjoy this poem." And some fucking asshole stole the poem right out of the envelope. I mean, if he saw that there was no check, why the fuck wouldn't he just tape it back together and send the poem on its way. Arghh this makes me so mad. Some people are just evil. What the fuck.

YOU DO NOT STEAL PEOPLE'S TOMATOES OR POEMS. THAT IS JUST FUCKING LOW. ALL YOU PATHETIC THIEVES SHOULD JUST GO DIE ALREADY.


...no they shouldn't go die, I'm just being dramatic and I'm extremely pissed off. Can't there just be good people in the world anymore?