Deep Breath

Oh. My. Goodness. The past three fortnights have been so hectic that I've completely lost track of the day of the week, time of day, what month are we in again, March!? Have I really been living here for almost 8 months now? I've passed 2 equinoxes and we're finally on the brink of Spring. I've made it out through the winter alive and I think it's okay for me to be quite proud of myself. We had a minor snowstorm last week that crushed the little crocuses and blossoms and I got really worried about them, but I was reassured by my friend that this happens every year in Sweden and the flowers and buds will be just fine. Phew.

I've come to accept that there will always be battles to be fought on the bureaucratic front, but finally, for the first time in months, I have an afternoon off of work early with nothing that has to be done. What a feeling! I've been spending zero time on creative things lately and focussing mostly on two moves, the first into a temporary room for a few months until Johannes and I can move into our apartment in June!

This is going to be the first time in my life when I live in a home that I can really call [at least half] mine. I can decide (or at least get 50% say) where I can put my stuff, what I can paint on the walls, where I can hang things, who can come over at which hour of the day or night, what kind of music will be played, etc. I think it's about time! Back at home I had no rights to those decisions at all. My friends or boyfriends weren't allowed over, I wasn't allowed to play my music, food and coffee had to be prepared in the garden if it was to be eaten or drunk before noon, and everything else was conditional. Well, now I'm a big girl and can decide for myself if I want to make coffee indoors and when my friends come over. I've put up with these silly conditions long enough and it's about time that if I felt the need, I could lay around naked in the living room with pink floyd blasting around me, and even drink coffee INDOORS at 7am, if I ever wanted to do such an unconventional thing!

I can't wait to start planting a garden! My hands are hungry for the soil, and some hard work. Last week I was in Germany for a brief family visit and my paternal grandfather taught me how to prune apple trees. It was so beautiful receive some of his knowledge and wisdom. Old people have much to pass down! One day I hope to have my own big garden or farm with fruit trees to prune. But for now I'm totally content with an apartment with a balcony. I'm going to start off with potatoes in buckets so that I can bring them from my temporary apartment to that one in June. I have a bag of biodynamic potatoes that started to grow green sprouts and am storing them in my closet for the right time to plant. I need to get myself a book about gardening in the Nordic zones, because I'm not very familiar with planting any further north than San Francisco. Ah, writing about plants is calming me down from the roller coaster I've been on lately. It's just been a never-ending story of errands, work and bureaucracy. Whoooooo deep breath. Plants. Plants. Spring. Biodynamic Potatoes. Sunshine. Breathe...