Something really primal has been taking over me in the past few days. I've been experiencing an extreme and almost uncontainable craving for meat, and have had a sudden urge to get involved in archery again. This is so typical for me, to be attacked by such fantastic whims at random. I haven't touched a bow and arrow since I was 12, but my right arm has this need to stretch back further than it can and somehow I can't stretch it out enough. I notice this when I dance or when I'm working out, that my arms really want to do something worthwhile...
It's not like I was ever really into archery. I loved it in PE class, part of the medieval games in the 6th grade in Waldorf, but I never made it my hobby or sport. I don't even know if I was particularly skilled, but I was definitely better at archery than javelin, discus, long jump—god forbid— or any other unique, historical sport. My class flew to Maui to visit and compete with the Haleakala Waldorf School, as tradition goes amongs Waldorf schools, and I had been counting down the days for months. I was mostly excited for the trip and the "overnight" with my class; wearing pajamas in front of my crush, meeting new people, having good food for breakfast, all that good stuff that comes with overnight field-trips. We started the medieval games in the late morning and were to complete them after lunch, that's when archery would be happening—the only sport I really cared about! During our lunch break, a few of us went down to the field to practice our long-jump and somehow, I sprained the ligament in my left-knee mid jump. Ouch! I remember screaming, "I broke my leg! I broke my leg!" and laying half in the sand, half in the water of the moat in agony. It felt as if my knee had inverted, or bent the "wrong way." I was carted off to the hospital before the archery championship ever began and I am still upset to this day that I never got the chance to compete.
But why the sudden shift to meat on my plate? Last week I ate like half a kilo of lamb meatballs in 24 hours (dinner and then breakfast) and the other day I nearly freaked out when passing a hotdog stand. I could hardly keep myself together and on my way home had to stop and buy some organic hotdogs in the grocery store. I get these sausage cravings every once in a while. Maybe it's the little German girl in me screaming to be accepted and acknowledged. Maybe I've been suppressing my inner German for too long and she's finally freed herself from the fist of my intestines. Well in any case, the minute I got home I started cooking dinner, a delicious vegetable soup and hotdogs on the side. I was waiting for Johannes to get there to join me, but I couldn't stand the wait and gobbled down a hotdog while stirring the soup. SO good. Weird. So weird, but I'm not gonna judge myself for it. I think it's totally okay to have bizarre cravings and give in to them. Sometimes there's just a mineral or vitamin that the body needs and it's okay to listen. I technically have no problem with meat per se, it's just the way that meat is raised and treated and processed that freaks me out. I think packaged meat is so gross, like slices of "ham" and stuff like that. But really nice, fresh, fairly-raised or better yet, wild meat is delicious. I would totally buy meat from a hunter if I knew one. Maybe that's where the archery whim came in. To go back to those primal meat-acquiring skills and get myself a decent cut.
Yesterday I went out for lunch with Hanna and had veal tartar. I've never eaten veal or tartar before, and I didn't know that the raw meat would appear mashed up on my plate, topped with a raw egg yolk. It was absolutely delicious. And afterwards I was tempted by some incredible-looking organic/ pasture-raised lamb sausages from a really nice farm. This is a strange week. Maybe that episode of anaemia is continuing... Ah, we'll see where this goes.
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