Kulturchock

I can't even begin to describe the culture shock that I'm experiencing being back in the States. Were it not for my family's need for me to be here right now, I would take the next flight back to Stockholm...

The moment I stepped off the plane in New York I felt like I was thrown onto a trampoline with a bucketful of knives, not knowing where or when to duck. It rushed at me from all directions, and instantly I got this deep, grumbling feeling of rage. I wanted to grind my teeth, throw vile glances at TSA personel, purse my lips at this and that, and cry all at the same time.

My first encounter was a self-flushing toilet. I hate self-flushing toilets. Most of the time they flush before I've even managed to close the stall door. What a total waste of water. Then they flush again as I'm sitting down, spraying me in toilet water. Gee, thanks! Then again about two times while I'm using the toilet, as if my subtle movements were some sign that I was finished. Excuse me! I CAN FLUSH THE TOILET WHEN I'M READY, THANKS! I am also no longer used to the fact that there is only one flush option on American toilets. In most European bathrooms, one has the option of selecting a "big" or "small" flush. How very economical. Come on US, it's not that hard to grasp.

I didn't even make it out of the restroom before the next nuisance came along: automatic soap dispensers. Maybe it's healthier to not have to touch a soap dispenser, and as everyone knows we're oh, so afraid of germs, but a big glob of pink detergent on my toothbrush is really not a great way to freshen up after a brutal flight, with still 18 hours of travel to go. The emphasis on convenience is absurd. No wonder people are so fat in the US. They don't have to do anything for themselves. Flushing the toilet or pressing a soap dispenser are labors that we just don't have the energy for, but we have no problem creating millions of products that we don't need. Oh wait, we don't actually do that work, child-slaves in China and Bangladesh do... so what do people in the US do?

Let me tell you. They eat crappy food, take up a lot of space—like, a lot of space,— talk loudly, push to get onto the escalator and then complain to the people behind that they're standing too closely. They scramble into the "airtram," and even have the audacity to ignore a woman in a wheelchair, trying to get in, all the while talking about those "Swedish chicks they banged last night, and the awesome burgers they got at the American joint." It's all ME ME ME. Hey, I have to get through customs too okay, so just take a fucking breath and try not to make me vomit.

I couldn't even take a sip of tap-water to hold down that vomit, because it also makes me vomit. Added chlorine and fluoride plus who knows what other chemicals, BLECH! I forgot how awful US tap water is. I hadn't bought bottled water for over 6 weeks until yesterday, because the flavor of Newark's fountain water set off my body's "toxic" alert. Listen to your instincts, if you want to spit the water out, it's probably not good for you. Thanks for poisoning me, US. I really appreciate it! How about you take a look at Stockholm's drinking water, I think there's a lot you could learn from it. There's something called "lagom" in the Swedish language, which roughly translates to "everything in moderation." We don't have a word for that, because no-such principle exists here. Our philosophy is, "everything to the extreme," and that includes water fluoridation and chlorination. LAGOM. LAGOM. LAGOM. This will be my mantra of survival.

The only way I will manage the next few weeks here, is to know that I will soon be away from it all, and that I will try my very hardest to make my life work in a different country. I have already found a part-time job in Sweden, and hopefully will be able to build up from there.

Hawaii is... well, Hawaii. I'm not allowed to complain, am I, being that it's paradise and all... Good thing I landed at 11:00 pm so that I didn't have the constipated highway as my first impression. Pushy rush hour is the last thing I could have handled yesterday. Why can't we just have a functioning metro system? Yeah, rail would be ugly, but surely not uglier than what we already have. But enough of that, there's no point in complaining about it. Things will likely never change here... It's been 10 years since that cars crashed into the wall on H1 and it still hasn't been fixed. I'm over it...lost case.

I got home alive, but exhausted and already dreading the next few weeks. The last thing I wanted to do was hunt for non-GMO foods in the maze that our refrigerator has become since I've been gone. Okay, it's mostly organic food, but I don't trust it one bit. I don't trust "organic" white bread that never goes bad. I don't trust "organic" milk produced by a dairy that also sells "normal" milk.  I'm hungry but my appetite is gone, and I'm terrified of my food. Fear is pointless, but I know I'm not going to die if I don't eat for a few weeks... see where you take me, America the beautiful? I haven't even been here for 15 hours and I'm already considering a hunger-strike?! No way, I love food too much. It's basically the core of my life, but I can't help feeling a bit of desperation.

I know that everything will be okay, that it's just pure culture-shock and "...Julia, shut up, you're in fricking Hawaii..." but I have to be completely honest. I'm not going to pretend that I'm happy to be back. I will make the best of it, and will enjoys my days here to the fullest, but I think the only tears that I'll shed when I depart will be tears of joy.