To My Enemies

Alright all you haters. I don't know who you are, or why you hate me. I don't think I've done anything to harm anybody, and if I have, I apologize for any pain or distress I've caused you.But honestly, man the fuck up and tell me to my face if you have a problem with me, because I really really really do not like going out into my garden in the morning and finding my geraniums uprooted and cast to wilt on the sidewalk in a pool of their own soil. If you're seeking revenge for something, then congrats, you've officially pierced me harder than you think.

Come and tell me what your problem is and we can sort this out. If not, I will find you and slit your throat while you sleep. I do not take the death of my plants lightly... These geraniums were about 5 years old. That's like kidnapping a kindergartener from his nap and throwing him out the window. FUCK YOU. 

...this is not the work of a neighborhood dog or a raccoon.

PS. I won't actually slit your throat because I'm a total pacifist and I don't play like that.