This afternoon I went to my very last Physics Praktikum. It was such a difficult class for me. Physics is already difficult in English... In German it's almost impossible. I was really sad that it sucked up so much of my time for studying other things, like anatomy. But anyway, now it's over and I'm so happy! Today's experiment had something to do with microscopes and various lens settings..

Honestly, I didn't follow it very well. I found myself staring out the window at the white sky, thinking about my sister. It was a bit chilly inside the classroom, and rather dark, but the lights from the microscopes had a very warm, Christmassy quality to them. It made the room slightly more cheery. Again, I thought about my sister. I thought about all of the holidays we've spent together. The things we've cooked, the songs we've sung, the silly Christmas hats we've worn together, the times we've cuddled up on the couch together and told each other secrets that Mama and Daddy weren't allowed to know. Special moments that've we've shared as sisters... those often happened during the holidays, when school was out, while we had time to be real sisters.

Last Christmas I took her for a hike. She hated hiking at the time, but went along anyway. My goal was to take her up into the woodsy mountains, and light a candle with her... A special adventure in the forest with a person I deeply love. We ended up getting lost on the way back down- stuck between huge cacti and lots of prickly things. It started getting dark and she was really mad, freaking out at me. We were somewhere on the side of the mountain, pretty desperate to get down. I've never seen her so angry... but after 10 minutes, she couldn't contain her laughter... we ALWAYs laugh about our adventures- the good and the bad.

So in Physics I paid no attention to the microscope- other than the light it was emitting.. that light reminded me of the candle my sister and lit in the woods last Christmas. It reminded me oft the times we sat on the couch by the Christmas tree... cuddled up together, chatting and eating something sweet. It reminded me of the mornings in December where it was still a bit dark getting up for school, where I'd go into her room and wake her up by turning on her light. It reminded me of the time she walked the Advent Spiral in kindergarten- bringing her candle of light to the circle...

I miss my sister. I wish I could be celebrating these holidays with her. Friends are great so celebrate with, but spending time with family is even greater.

I love you sis... and miss you like crazy <3